May 26, 2009
i don't want to live in regrets.
i may seem to be someone who can always take things so easily.okay with anything.easy going.always happy.
but i am not.
i used to take things very lightly.even if it is something that give me negative feelings, i will just hide it aside and eventually i will forget about it.
but now,i start to feel that it is already the last lapse of my life being a teenager, it is time to plan my future properly.
"small investments that bring in big returns."
i got into UOL Banking and Finance.months ago,i had already expected it.weeks ago,i was still okay with it.but now,it doesn't seem to be that way.
i can't breathe.the pressure is pressing far too hard on me.
it is again the topic on admission to university.
i was thinking of retaking my a level again.and pursue my dream once again.
"will it be the same results again?"
i have no confidence.
i have come so far.not me alone.but together with all my besties and teachers.
with all the practices and the encouragements we used to give each other.
i am afraid that i will not be able to step onto the a level path again.myself and alone.
should i just do with what i am given with now?
but i know.i will definitely regret one day.
that is not what i am always aiming on.
hope i wish.there is someone there to give me the right answer to my life.
but i know.
that is my life.
i choose the way i live.
i choose the path i take.
i choose the future that i want to have.
live with what i have now.
graduate in 2012.when i am 22.
give it a try.
retake a level in 2010.get my a level results in 2011.graduate in 2014.when i am 24.
2years of youth.
to be exchanged with the regrets.
2years of youth.
it is not too much.
guys spend 2years in army.
a friend of mine spend 6years to graduate from secondary school.
from normal stream to express stream.just for something he always wants.
now he is doing what he loves in poly.
do i even have the courage to be like him?
restart it all over again.
even if i am going to retake my a level again.
this journey will not be easier.but even harder.
i will be doing my UOL cert together with a level.
double studies.double amount of work.double of efforts put in.
can i live the life that i want?
i may seem to be someone who can always take things so easily.okay with anything.easy going.always happy.
but i am not.
i used to take things very lightly.even if it is something that give me negative feelings, i will just hide it aside and eventually i will forget about it.
but now,i start to feel that it is already the last lapse of my life being a teenager, it is time to plan my future properly.
"small investments that bring in big returns."
i got into UOL Banking and Finance.months ago,i had already expected it.weeks ago,i was still okay with it.but now,it doesn't seem to be that way.
i can't breathe.the pressure is pressing far too hard on me.
it is again the topic on admission to university.
i was thinking of retaking my a level again.and pursue my dream once again.
"will it be the same results again?"
i have no confidence.
i have come so far.not me alone.but together with all my besties and teachers.
with all the practices and the encouragements we used to give each other.
i am afraid that i will not be able to step onto the a level path again.myself and alone.
should i just do with what i am given with now?
but i know.i will definitely regret one day.
that is not what i am always aiming on.
hope i wish.there is someone there to give me the right answer to my life.
but i know.
that is my life.
i choose the way i live.
i choose the path i take.
i choose the future that i want to have.
live with what i have now.
graduate in 2012.when i am 22.
give it a try.
retake a level in 2010.get my a level results in 2011.graduate in 2014.when i am 24.
2years of youth.
to be exchanged with the regrets.
2years of youth.
it is not too much.
guys spend 2years in army.
a friend of mine spend 6years to graduate from secondary school.
from normal stream to express stream.just for something he always wants.
now he is doing what he loves in poly.
do i even have the courage to be like him?
restart it all over again.
even if i am going to retake my a level again.
this journey will not be easier.but even harder.
i will be doing my UOL cert together with a level.
double studies.double amount of work.double of efforts put in.
can i live the life that i want?
when we are together,
10:38 PM.
10:38 PM.
without any soul.
i am so tired of my life.
how i wish i can just be myself.
came across this particular blog yesterday night.after reading that blog,a thought struck me.i was thinking why i am borned to this world?i am fortunate to say that at least my parents are not giving me any form of stress,regardless of financial or on studies.
but i am still feeling stress living in this red dot... ...
i asked myself last night, when will all these stop? when can i stop entertaining people around me? i start to feel that i am losing myself.the true me. when can i remove the fake mask of mine,together with everyone's.
several encounters made me realized that i start to lose some of my friends.not in terms of physical or maybe i should put it in primary school terms "don't friend you anymore".
is it because of the environment?the society?the friends we hang up with?or it is just "WE HAVE TO GROW UP ONE DAY"?
we are all no longer who we were one year ago...
i am so tired of my life.
how i wish i can just be myself.
came across this particular blog yesterday night.after reading that blog,a thought struck me.i was thinking why i am borned to this world?i am fortunate to say that at least my parents are not giving me any form of stress,regardless of financial or on studies.
but i am still feeling stress living in this red dot... ...
i asked myself last night, when will all these stop? when can i stop entertaining people around me? i start to feel that i am losing myself.the true me. when can i remove the fake mask of mine,together with everyone's.
several encounters made me realized that i start to lose some of my friends.not in terms of physical or maybe i should put it in primary school terms "don't friend you anymore".
is it because of the environment?the society?the friends we hang up with?or it is just "WE HAVE TO GROW UP ONE DAY"?
we are all no longer who we were one year ago...
when we are together,
9:13 AM.
9:13 AM.
May 7, 2009
in the process of breaking down.
let's start with my photo shoots yesterday 5/5/2009
it is horrible.the blogshop owner is horrible too.
i woke up around 6am and when i was about to leave the house,she msg me and told me that the shooting is cancelled.so i was like "WTH?!"
so i msg minshan and felt so bad that she woke up so early just for me and now the shooting was cancelled.
so we went for breakfast and went town for some shopping.
we first went to face shop and we spent $150plus.just on facial products.
and we bought shorts and i bought dress too.
i could have buy more dresses.
but had to rush to tuition so... no choice.
guess what.i just visited that stupid blogshop owner's web.she got herself another model.so pissed.i guess she was just lying to me and just want to change to another model.
what makes me more pissed is that she msged me today and accused me for being troublesome when I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
the blogshop is http://www.goblinmarket.sg/
shop owner: krissy.
if you ever visit her shop and want to get something from her,i will not stop you.but i just think that she don't deserve earning the money from you.
girls,do try other blogs.i bet what she has,other blogshops have it too.
6.5.2009
went to work today.
don't know why.
i just enjoy working today.
crapping with coreen and have fun with other colleagues.
met up with my boyfriend after work for dinner before he books in.
don't know why.
i feel the stress pressing onto me.
20may is coming soon.
i haven't got any news from any uni.
which means my hope in getting to any uni is getting lesser.
what if i can't get into any uni.
what if not even SIM?
i told my boyfriend how i feel.
he gave me his opinion.
i really don't know what to do.
i almost cried in front of him.
but i stopped.
because we were at public place.
i feel like retaking my a level.
but i can't take it this year.
only next year.
this year registration has closed.
which means i am going to waste another year?
i told wanting.
she says,"no point wasting my time."
i told char.
she says,"don't think so much first.wait for the uni result first."
i told my dad.
he says,"anything.only if you are happy doing it."
i told my boyfriend.
he says,"whatever you do,i will always support you."
i asked myself.
"am i disciplined enough to study hard in the coming 19months if i am going to retake next year?am i very foolish to waste a year or should i just go for private uni?
i just can't make up my mind.
but definitely,there is no uni willing to accept me.
wanting just told me.even AAB students can't get into faculty of business.
omg.
then what will happen to me?
DIE LOR.
i really can't take it anymore.
why am i so stupid?
let's start with my photo shoots yesterday 5/5/2009
it is horrible.the blogshop owner is horrible too.
i woke up around 6am and when i was about to leave the house,she msg me and told me that the shooting is cancelled.so i was like "WTH?!"
so i msg minshan and felt so bad that she woke up so early just for me and now the shooting was cancelled.
so we went for breakfast and went town for some shopping.
we first went to face shop and we spent $150plus.just on facial products.
and we bought shorts and i bought dress too.
i could have buy more dresses.
but had to rush to tuition so... no choice.
guess what.i just visited that stupid blogshop owner's web.she got herself another model.so pissed.i guess she was just lying to me and just want to change to another model.
what makes me more pissed is that she msged me today and accused me for being troublesome when I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
the blogshop is http://www.goblinmarket.sg/
shop owner: krissy.
if you ever visit her shop and want to get something from her,i will not stop you.but i just think that she don't deserve earning the money from you.
girls,do try other blogs.i bet what she has,other blogshops have it too.
6.5.2009
went to work today.
don't know why.
i just enjoy working today.
crapping with coreen and have fun with other colleagues.
met up with my boyfriend after work for dinner before he books in.
don't know why.
i feel the stress pressing onto me.
20may is coming soon.
i haven't got any news from any uni.
which means my hope in getting to any uni is getting lesser.
what if i can't get into any uni.
what if not even SIM?
i told my boyfriend how i feel.
he gave me his opinion.
i really don't know what to do.
i almost cried in front of him.
but i stopped.
because we were at public place.
i feel like retaking my a level.
but i can't take it this year.
only next year.
this year registration has closed.
which means i am going to waste another year?
i told wanting.
she says,"no point wasting my time."
i told char.
she says,"don't think so much first.wait for the uni result first."
i told my dad.
he says,"anything.only if you are happy doing it."
i told my boyfriend.
he says,"whatever you do,i will always support you."
i asked myself.
"am i disciplined enough to study hard in the coming 19months if i am going to retake next year?am i very foolish to waste a year or should i just go for private uni?
i just can't make up my mind.
but definitely,there is no uni willing to accept me.
wanting just told me.even AAB students can't get into faculty of business.
omg.
then what will happen to me?
DIE LOR.
i really can't take it anymore.
why am i so stupid?
when we are together,
12:11 AM.
12:11 AM.
May 4, 2009
argh.i am feeling nervous now.
i am going for photo shoots tml.going to be the model for a blogshop.
i got notified last week that i was selected to go for this shooting.i was caught in the dilemma.i feel like going to try and have fun.my friends and colleagues encouraged me to go.
but... ...
boyfriend doesn't like.i don't wish to do things that he doesn't like.
for me,he gave up the opportunity of being a bartender.
for him,i will give up.just for him,just to see him smile.because it just warms my heart.
our one year anniversary is coming soon.it is just so soon.we plan to go overseas together and have some moments to ourselves =) his 21st birthday is coming soon too.i'm giving him a surprise.(shhhh... don't let him know.because he seldom reads my blog.busy in camp ^.^ )
thinking back.we went through so many moments together.
we have been friends for a year before we got together.
at the beginning,we just can't accept the differences between us.
at that time,he was super busy with his camp.i could only meet him once every fortnightly.
i felt insecured at that time.maybe because we just started out.
he was planning to go for future studies.
i was busying with my a level.
when he was free to meet me,i was busy mugging.
when i was free to meet him,he was busy with his outfields.
one day,he requested break up.
i still remembered,i was sitting at a corner at bukit gombak mac studying.
i was stunned when i read his msg.
not really shocked.
because he hinted me few days before that.
but i just can't stop my tears flowing.
minshan was there with me.
she consoled me and said,"maybe it is really the time to give up."
i convinced myself.maybe it is really the time to concentrate on my own things and let him go.
that one month was really torturing.
i just can't stop myself msging him.
but i just scared that he thinks i am very irritating.
so i told myself.a msg a day.
i am glad that i did those that time and didn't gave up.
he is back with me again.
and we both think that the one month really pulls us closely together again.
now,thinking back.i will still smile to myself.feeling sweet inside.
when i am sick,he will wrap me up like a mummy with his blanket.
when he is sick,i force the medicine down his throat.
when i burp,he laugh at me and say i am a dirty girl.
when he burp,i will cover his mouth.
when we go out,it is just so coincidental that we will wear the same colour of clothes.
when we quarrel,he will give in to me.
when we go out for meals,he will steal my food.
(no wonder you are getting fatter and i am getting thinner!!!)
when i am frowning,he has his own ways to make me smile.
when i am feeling stress,he just lend me his ears.
when he sleeps and snores,i will pinch his nose.
when i cook for him,he will definitely finish up everything.
when i make cookies and chocolate for him,he will give me comments for me to improve.
he often brings me out to everywhere with our baby.
his friends' birthday parties
shopping
good food
it is just so sweet of him.
hope our relationship will not end so soon.
remember our plan for the future?
let's make it come true.
you and me.
i love you
i am going for photo shoots tml.going to be the model for a blogshop.
i got notified last week that i was selected to go for this shooting.i was caught in the dilemma.i feel like going to try and have fun.my friends and colleagues encouraged me to go.
but... ...
boyfriend doesn't like.i don't wish to do things that he doesn't like.
for me,he gave up the opportunity of being a bartender.
for him,i will give up.just for him,just to see him smile.because it just warms my heart.
our one year anniversary is coming soon.it is just so soon.we plan to go overseas together and have some moments to ourselves =) his 21st birthday is coming soon too.i'm giving him a surprise.(shhhh... don't let him know.because he seldom reads my blog.busy in camp ^.^ )
thinking back.we went through so many moments together.
we have been friends for a year before we got together.
at the beginning,we just can't accept the differences between us.
at that time,he was super busy with his camp.i could only meet him once every fortnightly.
i felt insecured at that time.maybe because we just started out.
he was planning to go for future studies.
i was busying with my a level.
when he was free to meet me,i was busy mugging.
when i was free to meet him,he was busy with his outfields.
one day,he requested break up.
i still remembered,i was sitting at a corner at bukit gombak mac studying.
i was stunned when i read his msg.
not really shocked.
because he hinted me few days before that.
but i just can't stop my tears flowing.
minshan was there with me.
she consoled me and said,"maybe it is really the time to give up."
i convinced myself.maybe it is really the time to concentrate on my own things and let him go.
that one month was really torturing.
i just can't stop myself msging him.
but i just scared that he thinks i am very irritating.
so i told myself.a msg a day.
i am glad that i did those that time and didn't gave up.
he is back with me again.
and we both think that the one month really pulls us closely together again.
now,thinking back.i will still smile to myself.feeling sweet inside.
when i am sick,he will wrap me up like a mummy with his blanket.
when he is sick,i force the medicine down his throat.
when i burp,he laugh at me and say i am a dirty girl.
when he burp,i will cover his mouth.
when we go out,it is just so coincidental that we will wear the same colour of clothes.
when we quarrel,he will give in to me.
when we go out for meals,he will steal my food.
(no wonder you are getting fatter and i am getting thinner!!!)
when i am frowning,he has his own ways to make me smile.
when i am feeling stress,he just lend me his ears.
when he sleeps and snores,i will pinch his nose.
when i cook for him,he will definitely finish up everything.
when i make cookies and chocolate for him,he will give me comments for me to improve.
he often brings me out to everywhere with our baby.
his friends' birthday parties
shopping
good food
it is just so sweet of him.
hope our relationship will not end so soon.
remember our plan for the future?
let's make it come true.
you and me.
i love you
when we are together,
8:11 PM.
8:11 PM.
