March 7, 2009
caught in a dilemma.
i am happy and yet sad.
i don't know what i am talking about now.but i am emo-ing now.
i am happy because i pass all subjects and GENERAL PAPER too.come to think about it,i was the last for gp in prelims.now,i am getting a C.i am happy.and i cried upon seeing my result.i admit.tears of joy.
after some moments of thinking.i am sad because i am disappointed and my grades can get me nowhere.is it because i didn't work hard enough?or is the god playing a prank on me?i seem to lose my direction in life now.going to SMU is always my dream and it turns out to be my disappointment now.
tears just flow out without me myself realising it.
one,who always motivates the people around her,needs to motivate herself and keep herself going now.
my friends are doing much better than i do.they have much choices to choose from.but not me.i just can't stop myself to feel down and inferior.
i know."when one door closes,the other door opens.it's not the end yet."
but i just can't stop myself thinking.
leave her alone.she will be fine soon.
do not console her.she will only feel worse.
she will be fine alone.
soon enough when she finds her way out of the dark... ...
my boss called.my bf's mum called.my aunt called.
just to ask about my results.
my boss was nice.she encouraged me to try SMU first.
my bf's mum called to congrats me that i passed everything.thanks.
my irritating aunt called.just to compare me with her that "FABULOUS" son.still dare to call me TWICE.irritating freak.
thinking back.UOL was my dream during secondary4 life.SMU was my hope during jc life.i am just going back to my secondary4's dream.most probably i am going for UOL.because SMU is out of my reach.
she will be strong when she knows it's reality.
she will smile when she wakes up from her dream of tears.
now is the time.
i really wish you were here.
for once.
just let me be the small girl.
just let me cry behind your back.
covering my red and swollen eyes.
not to let anyone see.
i am happy and yet sad.
i don't know what i am talking about now.but i am emo-ing now.
i am happy because i pass all subjects and GENERAL PAPER too.come to think about it,i was the last for gp in prelims.now,i am getting a C.i am happy.and i cried upon seeing my result.i admit.tears of joy.
after some moments of thinking.i am sad because i am disappointed and my grades can get me nowhere.is it because i didn't work hard enough?or is the god playing a prank on me?i seem to lose my direction in life now.going to SMU is always my dream and it turns out to be my disappointment now.
tears just flow out without me myself realising it.
one,who always motivates the people around her,needs to motivate herself and keep herself going now.
my friends are doing much better than i do.they have much choices to choose from.but not me.i just can't stop myself to feel down and inferior.
i know."when one door closes,the other door opens.it's not the end yet."
but i just can't stop myself thinking.
leave her alone.she will be fine soon.
do not console her.she will only feel worse.
she will be fine alone.
soon enough when she finds her way out of the dark... ...
my boss called.my bf's mum called.my aunt called.
just to ask about my results.
my boss was nice.she encouraged me to try SMU first.
my bf's mum called to congrats me that i passed everything.thanks.
my irritating aunt called.just to compare me with her that "FABULOUS" son.still dare to call me TWICE.irritating freak.
thinking back.UOL was my dream during secondary4 life.SMU was my hope during jc life.i am just going back to my secondary4's dream.most probably i am going for UOL.because SMU is out of my reach.
she will be strong when she knows it's reality.
she will smile when she wakes up from her dream of tears.
now is the time.
i really wish you were here.
for once.
just let me be the small girl.
just let me cry behind your back.
covering my red and swollen eyes.
not to let anyone see.
when we are together,
12:48 AM.
12:48 AM.
